Post Perspiration Perspectives

WHO IS IT ALL FOR?

2011-11-01T00:52:00.003+08:00

Above everything else, the question I every so often humble myself and ask (or should ask, perhaps), is, "Are you doing what you're doing for yourself?" And oftentimes, the answer is no.

The truth is, society has created solid elements, which makes us simply fall into routine, down to minute details, of how we live. And those who tell you they're 'weird' or 'eccentric' simply because of their skinny jeans or beard are talking out their arse. Wannabes are the worst. Instead, listen to the stories of a backpacker, or an orphan; they would have known life, or at least more so than the rest of us.

The second question is, what can you DO to truly live life, for no one else beside you? The solution (if you view it as a problem in the first place) is never easy. Not sure what I'm getting at? Go watch 'Into The Wild'. Inspiring true story.

Till I find MY answer, I'll just continue slaving away for others. Damn, life sucks. Maybe I should just turn to religion and live life for Him.

Nah fuck that.

A POINT IN TIME

2011-09-17T18:02:00.002+08:00

Finding myself staring into emptiness more often nowadays. But it's nothing new. It's like mid-life crisis. Or adolescence. A point in life where you feel you need something new, to keep you feeling alive. Out with the old, in with the new. Cliche, but it hits the target of what I want. And it doesn't go away. But I've never waited it out before.

2 choices, I think:

1. Stick with the same old and hope every tomorrow will bring something new. Toto? Haha..

2. Do something drastic. Like migrate.

Problem with number 2 this time around is that commitments are abound now. Escapable, but obligatory. Damn.

I've been telling myself c'est la vie for a while now. It's not as if things are bad. Just stale.

Show me the light, Justin.

SELF-DESTRUCTION

2011-08-13T21:22:00.002+08:00

There was a time I thought, "self-destructive people suck. Anyone who brings themselves harm belongs in a psycho-house." That is, until the day I realised I may be exactly just that, myself. Not in terms of drug abuse and self-mutilation, but life itself, and perhaps in its entirety. I somehow love to disappoint. I'd be in a situation where if I just do what needs to be done, not even in an extraordinary way, everything'd be alright. But I end up screwing it up. Consciously. I think it lowers expectations of me, just so that I have 'challenges' to keep life interesting. But hey, whatever keeps life a little less boring, right?

SUN'S GOING DOWN ON ME

2011-07-01T23:09:00.002+08:00

Bluish grey clouds behind you as you drive out of the lightless patch of trees. The wind in your hair as you catch a glimpse of sunlight; the sun is rising where you're heading. The smell of salt and sound of seagulls from the nearby coast.

The corner of your mouth twitches; a smile creeps up. You're enjoying scenery comparable to Olympus with the mood of laughing Buddha.

Could things get any better?

Suddenly, for some reason, that wide smile narrows. Your brows go low. Your eyes go downward. Shit part is, you don't know why.

Could it be:

a) You're enjoying it alone

b) You want more

c) You feel you don't deserve it

d) There's something fucking wrong with your wires

If there is such a thing as an all-knowing, all-powerful force of some kind somewhere 'up there', show me the way before I get into a fucking drunk accident.

AND ONE STEP BACK.

2010-12-18T13:15:00.007+08:00

We all come to a point where we wonder, "How do I measure the quality of my life?" Or at least, for the sake of humanity and what edge we have over animals, most of us will.

Money comes and money goes.

Beauty, wisdom, even health, at the end of your time, will go,

whether you like it or not.

Imagine this; you're grey and old, sitting in a creaking chair, the world going by without your help. You look back on your life.

What will constitute to a lived-to-the-full life?

How far you've advanced your career?
How well you've taken care of your family?
How many people you've helped?
How much you're worth?
How many chose to be your friend?

Sometimes, I think, we could all do with a small step back and evaluation. Mainly because I get the feeling that Generation Y has lost track of what's important.

Substance abuse and intoxication; cool?

Rich kids driving around in their daddies' Porches acting like they earned them; cool?

Empty pride is somehow attracting deadbeats like flies to sweetened honey.

Maybe it's the movies and the music with their warped communication of what should be 'cool' and what shouldn't. Maybe it's today's parents who chase career to the extent that they forget to teach us what's important. Maybe humanity's got its head stuck in the toilet bowl and is rearing its ugly arse. And it doesn't even know it.

Dowanna sound emo, but whenever I catch a glimpse of the ugly side of humanity, it just brings up the emotion of ultimate disappointment;

that which is in the human race.

Not many will read this. But if you do, just take a small step back. And evaluate.

2010-05-09T05:32:00.003+08:00

This may seem out of place here, but I'm a die-hard Doraemon fan, so ENJOY!

* think you gotta click on it n go to the original video on YouTube, cos mine's kinda cut off.

Stupid rat.

2010-05-07T00:19:00.006+08:00

I've always believed that humans are troublesome creatures. Even if they have nothing to worry about, they'll FIND something to worry about. So, having this insight that most people have but simply store in the back of their mind, I try not to get worked up. A decision comes up, just make it. Approach it with a realist mindset then adapt to the consequences.

_________________________

But sometimes we don't make decisions which best suit the situation, or the one which has more pros over cons. Even though we know it. Why? Because we're troublesome creatures. We make decisions based on "instinct" sometimes then bitch about the outcome.

"Hey, that looks like a lucky number, although I know it has only 37 to 1 odds, but I THINK it's gonna come out! 1000 bucks on lucky number 20!"

"Damn, didn't hit, I KNEW IT!"

_________________________

But then again, once in a while, like a flying rat with a cloaking device, a mega-ultra-superman-tough decision smacks you right between the eyes. Sometimes even poking one, just for the heck of it.

But I guess that's life. We can't grow without having to face those bastard decisions.

I think I should manufacture and sell those black cue balls which give you almighty answers when you shake them. I'll need help. Anyone out there looking for a job?

Everything's About Perspectives

2009-12-10T00:29:00.003+08:00

Not a Justin original, but beneficial nonetheless.

John is the kind of guy you love to hate . He is always in a good mood and always has something positive to say. When someone would ask him how he was doing, he would reply, 'If I were any better, I would be twins!'

He was a natural motivator.

If an employee was having a bad day, John was there telling the employee how to look on the positive side of the situation.

Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up and asked him, 'I don't get it!

You can't be a positive person all of the time. How do you do it?'

He replied, 'Each morning I wake up and say to myself, you have two choices today. You can choose to be in a good mood or ... you can choose to be in a bad mood

I choose to be in a good mood.'

Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or...I can choose to learn from it. I choose to learn from it.

Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their complaining or... I can point out the positive side of life. I choose the positive side of life.

'Yeah, right, it's not that easy,' I protested.

'Yes, it is,' he said. 'Life is all about choices. When you cut away all the junk, every situation is a choice. You choose how you react to situations. You choose how people affect your mood.

You choose to be in a good mood or bad mood. The bottom line: It's your choice how you live your life.'

I reflected on what he said. Soon hereafter, I left the Tower Industry to start my own business. We lost touch, but I often thought about him when I made a choice about life instead of reacting to it.

Several years later, I heard that he was involved in a serious accident, falling some 60 feet from a communications tower.

After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of intensive care, he was released from the hospital with rods placed in his back.

I saw him about six months after the accident.

When I asked him how he was, he replied, 'If I were any better, I'd be twins... Wanna see my scars?'

I declined to see his wounds, but I did ask him what had gone through his mind as the accident took place.

'The first thing that went through my mind was the well-being of my soon-to-be born daughter,' he replied. 'Then, as I lay on the ground, I remembered that I had two choices: I could choose to live or...I could choose to die. I chose to live.'

'Weren't you scared? Did you lose consciousness?' I asked

He continued, '..the paramedics were great.

They kept telling me I was going to be fine. But when they wheeled me into the ER and I saw the expressions on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I got really scared. In their eyes, I read 'he's a dead man'. I knew I needed to take action.'

'What did you do?' I asked.

'Well, there was a big burly nurse shooting questions at me,' said John. 'She asked if I was allergic to anything 'Yes', I replied. The doctors and nurses stopped working as they waited for my reply. I took a deep breath and yelled,'Gravity'.

Over their laughter, I told them, 'I am choosing to live. Operate on me as if I am alive, not dead.'

He lived, thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of his amazing attitude... I learned from him that every day we have the choice to live fully.

Attitude, after all, is everything.

After all, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.

Damn them gulls.

2009-11-11T02:39:00.006+08:00

We're all in a plane of our own. The passengers? Our very own selves. Heading towards a destination, of which some of us have clearly mapped out the route, and others along the way, listening to 'you should's, 'you shouldn't's and 'I want you to's from talking seagulls flying alongside the plane.

And some even letting the damn plane go in circles, sitting in the first class bucket seat sippin COCKtails not even giving a flying FISH (you know what fish means).

Just today I was talking to a friend's brother whose SPM exams are next week, about what his future plans are. From that conversation I dawned on a realisation. Most of us are letting our planes fly according to those seagulls' chirping or clucking or whatever you call that sound seagulls make.

Sadly, we dress to impress rather than for comfort.

But do most people just take a mo, to sit down and ponder - at the end of the day, when the sun sets, whose life is it? Was it fulfilling? Did I truly live it?

Or was I just a puppet fueled by 'you should's and 'you shouldn't's,

followed by 'well done's and 'you make me proud's?

I myself have lived, or at least tried to live, my life thus far MY way.

I believe everyone should OWN their lives.

So what're you gonna do? Make mommy proud?

Or heed the words of that Chinese guy on those Hennesy ads?

Live Life to the Full!

-_- (Chinese 'smiley face' with small eyes)

Life's short, you only live once.

Do things out of the norm.

Take up challenges.

Make life interesting.

Because life is BORING.

Enlightenment Through E-mail

2009-09-27T20:17:00.012+08:00

Received this by e-mail, it's an opening speech by Joe Wright, a Reverend from Wichita, at the new session of the Kansas Senate in 1996.

It was met with criticism and accusations of intolerance. But more than ten years later, it seems more like the norm we live in rather than the controversy it was back then.

"Heavenly Father, we come before you today to ask your forgiveness and to seek your direction and guidance. We know Your Word says, "Woe to those who call evil good", but that is exactly what we have done. We have lost our spiritual equilibrium and reversed our values."

We have exploited the poor and called it the

LOTTERY

We have rewarded laziness and called it

WELFARE

We have killed our unborn and called it

CHOICE

We have shot anti-abortionists and called it

JUSTIFIABLE

We have neglected to discipline our children and called it building

SELF ESTEEM

We have abused power and called it

POLITICS

We have coveted our neighbor's possessions and called it

AMBITION

We have polluted the air with profanity and pornography and called it freedom of EXPRESSION

We have ridiculed the time-honored values of our forefathers and called it ENLIGHTENMENT

I'm a freethinker myself, but it's true that it's a common thing for ugly actions to be covered up by pretty words to justify them.

Thanks, Grace, for the forward.

Release it.

2009-08-02T19:21:00.004+08:00

My definition of the word childish may contradict the opinions of many, but my hope is that it will change the in-built objections of more, whose perception of the word denotes from society's superficial means.

Lack of maturity may be one of the many definitions of childishness, but its the one I choose to disregard. My belief is that many people make unneccesary efforts to portray the image of a mature person, by labelling others, or rather their actions as childish. My question to them is, is it a contradiction to be both? Is it impossible to think in a level headed manner, actions unperturbed by emotions when it matters, and enjoy life, being spontaneous, by being 'childish' when it doesn't?

There's not a lot of content in the sense of words in this post, but if you're on the same page as me hopefully it'd start a train of thought for you, like mine.

Backers

2009-04-15T13:53:00.008+08:00

Backers. A word which can have numerous interpretations depending on one's mentality, forte, occupation or experience. For me, just one in this moment in time, and its meaning translates into the equal actions of a morning fog. Then, the rhetorical request for a reply comes into mind. And then, the reason why its rhetorical echoes. But being gullible is a way of life for me, at least in some ways, ways which have the most significance, for that matter. Result? Me. With a tangled mass of mass where organization should be. Utilizing Blogspot.com as an occasional outlet. Freezing in this damn air conditioning which turns a degree difference into either an ice age or the Gobi.

Human nature though known is inevitably practiced. Is there a way not to be one? A human I mean.

Why Exams Suck Monkey Balls

2008-11-14T05:21:00.006+08:00

I am writing this in a college mate's house in Klang, a 45 minute drive from my house, and it is approximately 5.22 in the goddamn morning. And the plausibility of exams crosses my mind. What is the purpose of a higher education?

According to my perception there exist two. One would be to obtain in depth knowledge in the field of study in a particular area, technicalities the average layman wouldn't know, at least not enough to perform the job of a professional.

The second one would be for someone to mature, mentally, to be able to perform duties uncovered by the course of study, and to create a sense of uniqueness for oneself to be distinguished from the rest of the herd, and physically so workers wouldn't look like a goddamn white collar kid trying to fill shoes three sizes too large.

So, why are there exams? They oppress creative thinking and enforce conformity. Where's the need for uniqueness? If you ask me, tertiary education establishments should concentrate more on discovering and implementing motivational factors so that whatever we learn, we learn voluntarily and not by the huge ass tyrant fist in the form of a blank paper with questions from which the answers we stay up uncountable (ok maybe they're very much countable) nights memorizing just to be forgotten the moment with put down our weapons on the battlefield.

If I ever run for the next minister of education, vote for a better tertiary education system, vote for what Abraham Maslow stood for, vote for a more laid back but motivated generation of students, vote for me. Your assessment for that GodDamn certificate would be practical and justifiable.

(Even if I haven't actually come up with a system yet)

That is why exams suck monkey balls.

Thank You.

Grass Is Nice.

2008-11-13T03:30:00.000+08:00

The grass is always comfortable, soft, wind blowing through your hair, food, water, shade and shelter at my fingertips, I could stay on the grass a thousand years if let be. If my conscience lets me be. If my desire, gumption and that need for self actualization let me be.

But somehow that fruit hanging on that high up branch just barely out of sight, even with binoculars(yes I have those too) covered by dozens many other branches bearing dead leaves, it seems so tantalizing. But there's no ladder. Maybe I could wait till it ripens and falls, but maybe it would take too long? I could climb the tree, but it would be a long and tough climb, and if I fall it would bring about consequences. Maybe it would even cost me my life. So maybe I should just stay here on the nice grass?

Looking up, barely a quarter of the height of the frigging huge ass tree there sits a squirrel. With a playful look in its eyes. The dead-leaf branches I can push aside one at a time, but how about the little bugger? I could, but would I want to? Or maybe I could bring it along, adding burden to the journey but yet have a playful bugger as company. Slower, but less tiresome, probably.

I continue laying on the grass as usual but with my head now looking up, at the fruit, at the squirrel.

What shall it be?

There is Sense Behind The Coconut Shell

2008-11-09T22:46:00.000+08:00

The majority of people would not agree that bliss can be found in that subjective word, ignorance. They'd say "hey, I'd rather know, like Keanu Reeves in that blockbuster The Matrix." But recently, I've come to know that one can't deem a shell a total umbrella of knowledge.

There exists total and partial ignorance, obvously. And perhaps within total ignorance, there lies bliss. In the sense that the frog not only does not know, but also, does not possess the luxury of deciding whether it should know or not. However, partial ignorance is on a whole different page.

Bits, pieces, fragments of essential information kept from a frog, like a coconut shell with a few well placed eye holes, would perhaps be a boon more than a blissful hindrance to it?

A story comes to mind, a story of some deaf animal which I forgot what the hell it was, but anyway, the essence of the story remains intact. Let's make it a chicken.

There was a huge competition in the chicken (hahah) village, the first to reach the peak of the local hill, which no chicken (hahah) had done before would become the next mayor. (or obtain some reward) When the bell rang, signalling the beginning of the race, dozens of chickens (heh) ran to the base and climbed as fast as they could. The spectator chickens, jeering at the climbers, as the nature of chickens is as such(hah), shouted things like "Its impossible, just give up", and "Don't be a stupid chicken and waste your energy". One by one chicken after chicken gave up, until there was one. This one seemed to pay no heed to the jeerers, head looking up, climbing rock after rock. Finally the chicken reached the peak, amazing every other chicken. The chicken was deaf.

The moral is, if essential things like obstacles aren't known, then most of the time there are none.

Partial Ignorance.

Actually I'm writing this because my friends scared the crap outta me saying theres a shitload of stuff to study, and being a pontenger I didn't know better. Turned out so far its easier than expected.

Hope the same goes for the other half.

Need Help? Dial 1800-I-Don't-Give-An-Ant's-Ass

2008-08-26T03:27:00.000+08:00

Nice guys finish last. What more could I say? Plenty.

But what more would I say? Not much more than this.

Try to please everyone, you end up with their crap on your face

Try to solve someone else's problem, it ends up becoming your burden

Try to settle an argument, you end up being stretched like a rubbery shit

And yet you can't just walk away, its just not your nature

Solution?

Change for the worse, and go back to being the guy that doesn't give one tenth of a rat's ass

who sinks and who dies.

Enough said.

Whoever who has the correlation of reading this and hanging out with me, please tell me if

I'm becoming just an ass or a bastard. I'll try harder.

A Little Something

2008-08-02T02:56:00.001+08:00

Had time to burn, and didn't want the devil to use it in his toolbox, so I wrote a few different passages on my view of friendship.

Enjoy

It’s indescribable. As I sit here pondering, windows of long-ago slide and creak open, filling me with feelings like a hot choc on a cold night. Hands ever ready to pat my back, ears ever ready to listen. I could never have done without them. Cold hard cash or friendship? It’s obvious.

Look back. Into the grayish images under the slipper of your mind. Fishing, hooky, spitballs. Scraped knees, bruised ribs, broken teeth. Remember the old gang. The times you got each other through, the adventures you had. The ones you shared your feelings and ambitions with twenty years ago and the ones you are going to drink with tonight. That’s Friendship.

The true ones are scarce but always there, thick or thin. The fake ones are scarce and always gone, when your wallet’s thin. The real ones would raise you up when you hit rock bottom. The fake ones would rise up when you hit rock bottom. That’s about the gist of Friendship.

But Left or Right?

2008-04-27T02:42:00.001+08:00

The Turning Point. The point where one decides to either maintain the adequacy, sufficient in resources as well as satisfaction and glory, just SUFFICIENT, bide one's time and wait for that fish to bite on the bait we put out there while waiting so damn patiently, mediocrely passing time, where there may not even be a bite, not even till the bait disintergrates and dilutes into the water of hope.

Or, get the hell up, pick up those dice and throw them with every molecule of will and strength available, and, watching the dice fall with sheer and absolute anticipation, wondering whether its the right path to tread, the ever waited for number on it, which would then determine the journey from then on, either downhill with the wind gracefully carressing one's face and where the sun is always in front and those dark clouds behind, or a seemingly everlasting walk towards those jagged edges waiting just for you, at the bottom of that inviting ravine.

No one can say for sure which path would be best, for each path has its share of suitors, either determined they're on the right street, or result of trains of thoughts leading to the unsure decision of a new leaf-turning. We all know we're at the point when we're almost there, seeing the tip of it just over the horizon.

Time to decide.

Have you thrown your dice today?

Michael Jackson Was Wrong

2008-04-16T03:23:00.000+08:00

This post is only the product of two out of three input factors, not including inspiration, so ill write it the way it should be read,

casually.

I'm sure anyone and everyone, if they just take a minute, or an hour if they prefer, to ponder. That the contrasting difference between black and white in everything they do, in their everyday lives, is lessening to, whether they have reached the point, where everything is gray. There is no black and white. What you choose to do is right and that's the bottom line.

Yea, some people clean their palates every one in awhile, through self-reflection or the after-effect of a heart-roasting movie, the way a sorbet does to the culinary palate after every course, and they manage to smile to themselves every once in awhile.

But sometimes that sorbet is just too far to reach. Don't you think?

But if life was simple, where we can all paint by numbers, doing it all for the so called greater good, (if it still exists anyway) and everyone wouldn't have to toss and turn every night before the soab always-late sandman comes.. Wouldn't that be something.

Imagine. Do what you have to do, do what comes to mind, no obstacles, no friends to lose, moods to kill, expectations to disappoint, lives to lose.

Clear cut, Black and White.

But then again, wake up and smell the faeces.

Dude, this is reality.

Back to my contrast-less life.

Crack That Shit

2008-03-23T03:20:00.000+08:00

Tiresome.

That's life sometimes. Doesn't have to be bad. But still. Tiresome. Mental and/or physical stress can still be dealt with, but somehow somewhere theres something, like a meter of some sort, or more like a container, that as life goes on and on, fills up.

A vacation once in a while might empty that invisible container, but then again, like alcohol, it loses its effect over time. And alcohol and vacations are two of a very few weapons in our arsenals we use to gun down those things clawing on the back of our necks, being chased away occasionally with what I like to deem neckracking.

I may sound like an old man, but I'm running out of weaponry. And if I don't discover an effective one soon, I may have to start making a bingo book. Any volunteers to be in it?

Balls In A Jar

2008-01-16T03:15:00.000+08:00

Stumbled upon this somewhere, and I thought its something that would uplift anyone's spirits.

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 cups of coffee.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him.

When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full they agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar . Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous "yes."

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

"Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things- your God, your loved ones, your health, your friends, and your favorite passions--things that if everything else was lost and only they remained your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, and your car.

The sand is everything else -- the small stuff.

If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you.

Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal."

Take care of the golf balls first -- the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented.

The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend."

Slow & Steady My Balls

2007-12-02T03:11:00.000+08:00

Achievement is a destination.

And most of the time most people are taking it easy, taking their driver-included trishaws, putting their legs up in the comfy cushion backseat, watching the built-in TV, sipping wine, munching goodies.

But there's another track.

A train track, ten times faster, but the passengers are working, shovelling coal to keep the train going, with carbon on their faces and pain in their backbones. Sometimes we may be on the train, working towards that ever so far destination, but after the next blink of the eye, we realise we somehow strayed off the track and plumped our lazy asses on that comfortable but slow trishaw, the driver stopping every ten minutes to take a piss while his pet dog stops every five to take a crap. It ain't easy, but everything we had ever wanted and ever will want will come with a price, whether we like it or not..

Although sometimes the price may be too high..

Decisions, Decisions

2007-10-08T03:06:00.000+08:00

The train is down.

The next stop is the destination I want. I'm where I can be, but don't really wanna be. I could take a different train, but then I wouldn't really be going where I want to go. I've just got to this stop from the last,

where I really didn't wanna be.

What do I do? Stay at this stop and wait for this particular train to start moving again? To the stop I know I want to be headed? Or pick myself up and take one of the other trains and just deal with wherever it would take me? I don't even know if that particular train would even ever get moving.

Decisions, decisions.

For now, I'm where I can be but don't really wanna be. I think I'll wait a little longer at this stop right here. Maybe grab a sandwich and a coke from the vending machine over there.

Maybe a book.

And sit.

And hope.

It Happens

2007-10-03T03:01:00.000+08:00

Just sometimes in life, when you get things into perspective, when you have a balance of this shitty things and the not-shitty things, when you feel content and had put every past shitty thing behind you and start looking forward to your future to start building it, rife with anticipation, SOMETHING ELSE WILL COME UP AND BITE YOU IN THE ASS.

And maybe you'd feel that 'hey this obstacle I'll get through it soon and somehow and everything's gonna go back to the way it was'

Yeah right. Maybe for most obstacles. What about the ones that cut you and scar you and make you bleed and leave a mark there for life.

The ones that make you feel like 10 year old leftover shit. The ones that make you just wanna sit down and stare into blank space and don't feel like moving or acknowledging anything or even getting up to get a goddamn glass of H2O.

Its funny sometimes how you can just advise everyone on what to do when an obstacle smacks them in the face, but when it hits you its a whole different story.

You don't know what to do and sometimes you just can't confide. And sometimes these things can last for months and maybe years and you just get used to that friggin dark cloud over your head and you gave up trying to move it away a long time ago. So there it sits. While under it you sit. And stare into blank space and don't feel like moving or acknowledging anything or even getting up to get a goddamn glass of H2O...

Depressant

2007-08-05T02:49:00.000+08:00

This is a sequel to the post 'Suck On This'

Much happened since that post. I'm not changing the context or correcting any opinions I earlier had, but I'd now like to add to it. Add to it in the sense that sometimes in life, one can be blinded from looking up into the sky at the sun, and not even know it. Or know it, but find it near impossible to do so. Life is chock full of challenges and hurdles, and optimistic people jump over or crawl under them getting through them one way or another with the belief that every obstacle brings about experience and wisdom.

But then, there are sometimes just too many obstacles, or those that just cannot be overcome, and over time we lose morale, nearing the verge of surrender. This is the moment where we feel lowest, and I mean bottom of the barrel low, and we don't even feel like helping ourselves out of that deep hole. We just don't have the energy to do so. This is the feeling I'm talking about.

Sure, anyone can tell you 'hey, pick yourself up, move on, look forward and up and march onwards.' Even then we still find it hard to do so. Prefering to sit in that dark corner pondering with excrutiating depression over those damn obstacles. We all know we should get up off of our ass, shout 'Malaysia Boleh!' and face those damn demons, but somehow or other its harder than it sounds.

Maybe these silver-lineless dark clouds would make us stronger, more mature, when we emerge from it. Maybe. Maybe not. We who sit there in the damp pit don't bother anymore. This is when all the pessimistic phrases we always had behind our mind comes out. Life's a bitch. And this is when we hold onto them and believe them. Even when we know we shouldn't.

Then again, screw it I'm gonna take a hot shower and go to bed too tired to think anyway. Wait for the third part.

I hope this post depresses you.

Simple Plan Strikes Back

2007-07-09T02:46:00.000+08:00

We're all trapped in the cycle of chases, be it papers of various kinds, a sense of belongingness, identity, satisfaction and so on and so forth. Of course you can relate to this. Who in their lifetime hasn't thought of breaking free from their everyday drudgery?

Plans to leave the friggin country n boring lifestyle to discover a whole new plane of conciousness, to live life while we still can, to go to sleep with a hint of smile stretching on our lips, symbolizing a fullfilling day, without the sense of wasted life, and awaking the next morning, fully rested, ready to take on every challenge albeit how small it may be, yet to come. Plans to quit your job, start your own business, fuel that passion for success inside of you, getting closer to your ideal life, inch by inch, every single day, plus, damn well loving what you do.

Plans like these are what people concoct at times like when they lay down to sleep after what they feel had been a wasted day. And they do nothing, and they dream again of it on a different day, repeatedly. Before they know it, they're 35 on a dead end job with their 'plans' still lounging about in a corner of their imagination, locked up with the key lost somewhere in their arse.

Thats why bands like Simple Plan become rich overnight.

Reflections In Unexpected Places

2007-03-31T02:37:00.000+08:00

Saw this on some music video when I was watching TV in Genting.

The day a child finds that adults aren't perfect,

he becomes an adolescent.

The day a child forgives them,

he becomes an adult.

The day a child forgives himself,

he becomes wise.

You might read this and then say to yourself "hmmm very true, and i guess I'm wise then."

At least that was what I did.

But then, I decided to bring out the humility. I took a step back and reassessed. Then I realised that most of the time, my pride wouldnt let me find fault within myself, let alone allow me to forgive them. And, I bet, so goes the same with nine out of ten people, irrelevant of age.

Look at all the so called wise people, the adults, they don't admit their faults even when its so close, right in front of their face, so close that they can smell the friggin thing right there. But nope, they're not wrong. I can name a few damn good examples, but I don't wanna hurt any feelings unnessessarily.

No one's perfect. So to those who think they're wise, step back and reassess. Au Revoir and Gracias. :)

The Celebrations Got To Me

2007-02-26T02:32:00.000+08:00

This'll sound slightly strange n corny, but life, is like BLACKJACK. I invented(or at least i would like to believe I did) this idealogy after more than a week of nonstop gambling throughout the chinese new year celebs, visiting house after house, collecting them sweet red packs, then gambling from early afternoon till 4 in the morn, wake up for lunch the next day n go for more "visiting", such was our daily lifestyle for the past week. N, why I said what I said, which was that life was very much like the famous game of BlackJack, was because after playing the game over n over n over, ...n over again, I noticed.

There are times when I go on an extremely frustrating losing streak, which somehow gets worse, along with my mood, as if the cards are purposely kicking me when Im down. Goes the same with winning streaks, which includes the best hands after the great hands followed by the extraordinarily sweet hands, which bring me to the highest pinnacle of moods. N of course it goes without saying, the average no win no lose situations, with occasional good hands n bad ones where I leave with what I started with after more than 12 hours of playing.

I could write another whole paragraph on how the above relates to life, but Id rather you use your own imagination. Plus, Im lazy n I have to study. No use thinking bad thoughts bout me cos i have an Evil Eye to deflect your negative energy. Haha. Bite me.

I Am What I Am N That's All That I Am - Popeye

2006-12-08T02:26:00.000+08:00

Think hard. About the people surrounding you at this point in time. About the people you left behind. About the people whom you hope to be surrounded by.

Because although not many feel this way, the outcomes of these questions mould ourselves, be it subconciously or through one might refer to as the best compliment to someone you wanna be like.

Observe yourself. The way you talk, walk, small everyday seemingly unimportant decisions, all come from not who you are, but more likely, who you want to be. 'hey man' 'wazzaaapp' 'fk the world' 'fk it, man', Yup saying things like these might come naturally to you, or so you might like to believe, but you know the truth, you picked it up from someone, someone who said the word, projected an image you consider favourable, and thus made it your own. And 99% of the time, its from someone you admire. And, this is not limited to words.

Look at the friends you left behind. The ones you never contact anymore, while excusing yourself time and time again,"I'm not in the mood, I'll call them another time", "they'll always be there, theres no hurry", "Im tired, I'll take a nap instead". But look at the picture. The hidden one, the one you somehow slipped under your brain's shoe. Are these people no longer your friends because you just simply drifted apart? That each has his/her own friends to mix with now? or because he ain't cool enough to hang with youz? Someone you wouldn't want to be like? And that theres this fear that you might grow to have traits similiar to his? Someone you left behind to prevent yourself from being someone who you wouldn't want to be?

BTW, thats also the reason why friendships aren't everlasting.

And now, let's look at yourself, and the people whom you wish you were surrounded by, or hanging out with coz they is cool. Hairstyles, slangs, clothes, ..the way you smoke.. I think by now anyone should have gotten the drift I was getting at.

"Let It Be" My Arse

2006-08-06T02:18:00.000+08:00

Im sure everyone thinks about the future from time to time, it starts with: what have I been doing lately? will I be doing the same thing over and over? How does it better me? Where will I be in five years? What can I do to be who I wanna be in the future? maybe i should do something about it now? hmm.. ring ring.. hello? hey, what u doin? lets go minum la? oraitla meet u in five mins. click.

Then we forget about the future. Then there are times when we come to seriously think about the future, we plan what we should have done a long time ago, like finding a job, joining a gym, start a healthy diet, start reading books etc etc, but how many of us who take the time to plan, actually take the time to start it? And of those whoACTUALLY start it, how many follow through? Its always easy to say 'I have big ambitions' or 'I'll be someone someday' to impress people, but in actual truth, very few people actually have the willpower to go along with their burning ambition to succeed.

Most of us will see ourselves as who we want to be go down in flames, and settle for something less than satisfactory, and go along with it even then, not doing anything about it while making excuses like 'money's not important. As long as I'm happy' or 'money's not everything, I have a happy family, and that's all I'll ever need'. Maybe that's true in some ways, that some people's ideals are different, that to be successful is to make sure those around them are comfortable. But for the rest of us, we can only lie to ourselves so much.

No we won't mature when the time comes, no we won't improve ourselves just over time and no we can't live life as it comes. Deep down I think we all know this, but to know and to take action are two different things altogether. For me, I wanna be someone who people can be proud of someday, keeping my pride till the day I'm buried, then remembered.

I could have just put down a song's lyrics to convey how i feel, but i think my own words are closer to the bullseye.

Suck On This

2006-07-24T02:01:00.000+08:00

DOES LIFE SUCK?

Sure, many of us would like to think so, and spend lots n lots of time thinking about how much their life sucks ass, about how unfair life is, about where is god n why did he punish us like this and why did he put us on this earth and whats the meaning of life if there is one etc etc and so on and so forth.

But after all said and done,u cry, u cry alone. U laugh, and the world laughs with u. A lot of people don't realize how true this saying actually is.. They prefer to sit in their room listening to their Simple Plan cd about how the world doesn't understand them and all that crap.

In actual truth, I honestly think that 99 percent of the people who think that their life bites, can actually look up at the sky instead of down at their feet and their life would instantly improve dramatically.

As they say, always face the sun, so that you cannot see the shadow. I like to think that once people realize how big life actually is, that we shouldnt get worked up over the small stuff, and actually stick to that mentality, that person would on the spot instantly be a better person. But who knows?

The person who knows you best is you yourself, right?